I know, I know: stereotyping is wrong. But then again, so is binge drinking. I personally believe many of the best decisions are made as a result of successful stereotyping. For example, the decision to sit next to a kid with pocket protector during a mathematics exam? Good decision. The decision to sleep with a guy with size 13 shoes? Great decision (or so I hear). And I see nothing wrong with stereotyping a person based on what he or she is drinking.

Someone taking tequila shots on top of the bar, for example, is obviously looking to get laid, whereas someone with a draught beer in hand is most likely a guys’ guy or a girl who can hang with the boys. To add some insight beyond my egregious overgeneralizations, I recruited several of Shanghai’s best bartenders to weigh in on what drinks say about the people who drink them.

Manhattan
This is a drink for serious cocktail drinkers. “You’re probably in a bad marriage or are overworked,” according to Chris Peart, the man behind the bar at Alchemist Cocktail Kitchen.

Tropical drinks
You’re all about fun and having a good time with friends. You might be on a tropical beach vacation. You might also be gay.

Mixed drinks (vodka cranberry, gin and tonic)
“You’re too drunk to remember the names of any other cocktails,” says Cece, the girl pouring the shots at M1NT.

Champagne cocktails
You’re a tai tai out on your husband’s credit card. Cha-ching!

Liquor straight up
You don’t mess around. You know what you like and how to get it. If you’re a girl, you’re hot. Ryan Noreiks, bartender at Yucca, says, “A girl drinking a whiskey on the rocks grabs my attention because it’s a hard alcohol that comes with a hard attitude. It’s intriguing.”

Long Island Iced Tea
You’re looking to get laid. You probably won’t. Peart says, “LIIT drinkers need to get in a time machine back to the ’80s.”

Wine
You’ve had a long day. You want to unwind with a drink that isn’t too busy or complicated.

Margarita
You’re out to party, but you’re trying to keep it classy. You’re a lace thong, (but not a “lace thong and two inches of ass crack showing”) kind of girl.

Beer
Beer is the bread and butter of the drink world. You have simple tastes.

Pastis
You’re French. But on the bright side, according to Noreiks, “You’re in the upper echelons of enjoying alcohol.”

So, next time you’re at a bar working your way through the drinks list, remember to choose your libations wisely. You never know when a girl taking shots on top of the bar is going to fall off and judge you for drinking a cosmo-tini.